This year being my senior year, one of the most commonly asked questions I received was, "what are your plans for next year?". I'll be honest, I never thought I would be able to decide. I had considered many different colleges and dance pathways, but a gap year wasn't very high on the list of things I was considering. I had heard of mission gap years before but didn't really consider it for myself until February of this year. What made me decide was a combination of fitting certain criteria and where I saw the Lord leading me.

The criteria I referred to is my list of things that a year I could dream up must fit. This dream year had to be something I'm absolutely passionate about, social/directly interacting with others, away from home (don't get me wrong I LOVE where I live, I just feel the need to push myself a bit), and something that uses my gifts to serve God well. I get that this could be a lot of things, but when I heard about the Race, it clicked to me that it fit all my criteria.

Then came my week-long mission trip to El Salvador with FYDC missions, my dance company. This was my second time on the trip so I had an idea of what to expect. Now that I knew about the race, I went into that trip praying that it would provide some clarity for my next steps. I not only loved getting to spend a week with our sole purpose being to spread the gospel with none of the usual distractions, but also had my eyes opened to the harsh reality of poverty that exists in so many parts of the world. That trip helped me see what a big impact simple connection can have--how mundane actions, or even dancing, can be ministry.

As much as I'd like to say I had complete clarity to commit to this gap year after that experience, I did not. Spending 9 months away doing missions means 9 months of not dancing, which is a huge deal to me. I have been doing it my whole life, for hours a week, and it is something that I want to continue to pursue and to teach. It would also mean being away from my family without coming home for holidays. Missing out on spending time with a growing nephew, grandparents who are getting older, a sister who is about to get married, family who will be graduating high school soon, and my closest friends.

These things may not seem like a giant sacrifice in the long run, especially just for a year, but it definitely feels scary to me. It is so easy to compare what my other friends are doing and already feel "behind", especially because I would still like to go to college. However, I see this season as an opportunity to grow in trusting God big time.

At the end of the day, my faith is the most important part of my life. It's what my identity and purpose is rooted in. So even though this opportunity feels nerve wracking and full of unknowns, I want to fully give this year to God. I want to grow so much in my relationship with Him in order to set a strong foundation for the rest of my life.

So despite the scary stuff, I am so excited to share something that I treasure so much--the gospel--with people all over the world. I am excited to serve. I am excited to build new and meaningful relationships. I love that I don't know exactly what this experience is going to look like, that I have to hold my expectations loosely, to give God the room to work in and through me. I don’t know that I will ever fully feel ready to go, but my prayer is that God will prepare my heart and my mind for this next season. Here’s to seeing what God does next!

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